Learning to be at Peace
As most of you know, a lot has changed in my life. I graduated, got married, and moved out of my parents’ house all within 2 months of each other. My husband, Jonathan and I didn’t date long. In fact after two months of gym dates, dirt bike races, church, and all the fun things in between, we made it official in June of 2016. We knew by August 2016 that we were supposed to get married.
Let that sink in…with only 2 months of “official” dating we knew we were going to get married. Yeah I had a tough time swallowing that one too. I asked God over and over if He was sure (like really really sure).
The issue in my head wasn’t if Jonathan was the one? I knew Jonathan was the man God specifically designed for me early on. I understood this was a big commitment and I understood that I was young (too young to be married in some eyes).
I was struggling with the shock of how it could be this soon. This was different. No one dates for 2 months, gets engaged at 4 months, and then married within a year. My struggle came from what this world would do and say about us.
I knew I was going to marry Jonathan, but I had it in year 3 of my life plan. It should have happen after I transferred colleges, got a degree and job. That would be people’s expectations right?
Go get a higher education, date Jonathan for a longer period of time, graduate college with a fancy piece of paper, get a stable impressive job that people can oooo and ahh over and that my parents can brag about how their little girl did it. Then the next life stages would be to get engaged and married, buy a house, have kids and just live the perfect people pleasing life. WRONG.
You see, God doesn’t work on your convenience, time, or plans. He doesn’t even work on your fear of not pleasing others. He works in bold and different ways. Ways to bring you closer to Him and ways that will sharpen His path.
You can see I had a problem… I was bogged down by pleasing others and meeting their expectations not God’s. So what the way God did things in my life was different. Doesn’t He call His children to be set apart?
I felt it. I felt different through the whole process. I felt the looks people would give me. I felt the nosey questions people would ask. I felt every ounce of doubt from others. But somehow God used that to strengthen my walk and keep His word close in my heart. God changed my attitude of fear of disappointing others to longing to be different for Him. I wanted to attract attention to my God and give Him the glory for making Jonathan and my love story possible.
Jesus used and continues to use my husband as someone who guides me, strengthens me, and helps me to cast out fear. Jonathan is a daily reminder to me of just how good Heaven will be. I think of how God uses Jonathan to speak to me and love me. So I can’t imagine what the root of the love will feel like when I’m in my maker’s arms. Oh the true love I will feel in that moment overwhelms me.
I guess you could say I’m at peace with being different. It still gets to me on occasion, but I know God will always have a plan and that means hardships and celebrations. It also means maturing and doing things you don’t want to do. It means standing up for a God who completely changed your life and stood up for you by dying for your sins.
My hearts hurts for our lost generation where a “me” attitude has taken over. Entitlement is killing our generation. You don’t deserve anything- you owe everything to a God who extends his loving arms before you. Image and what others think of us has become our identity. How many Instagram likes we get becomes a 2 minute high that fulfills your self-worth.
I will be the first one to say “STOP.” Don’t get bogged down by the expectations of this world. It is okay to be different. It is okay to stand out for Jesus because when you let Him in He changes you. Changes you to the beautiful person you were meant to be.
When Jesus enters your life, the hole in your heart that you are trying to fill with worldly things becomes consumed with Him, your heart will become so full that it runs over.
Jesus is what you are searching for. He is your cure. It’s not men, it’s not women, it’s not popularity, alcohol, or even beauty. It’s Him!
You will see things in a new light to where those worldly pleasures aren’t worth it. It’s all temporary but what is forever is eternal life. I pray that my story encourages you to be different and take a stand in a world that grows darker.
Take it from me, a sinner saved by grace… people pleasing is a world that will suck the life out of you. It is a dangerous trap. A trap I find myself falling into quite often. People pleasing causes stress, worry, and doubt, which all come from Satan. This lie can cause the fear of rejection. The only way to overcome this fear is to focus on the reality of God’s acceptance of us based on our position in Christ.
When we fail to focus on Him we focus on the situation or others approval based on our performance. This will then lead us to base our worth on the opinions of others rather than our relationship with God. Our relationship with Christ is not based on how we feel.
Galations 1:10 says, “Am I now seeking the favor of men, or God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ.”