Lies from the enemy
Do you ever feel inadequate, defeated, and want to just throw in the towel? Well that is how I have felt this past week. My mind has been at constant war against the enemy. I could not shake the negativity, bad thoughts, and lies going on inside my head.
The bad thing was, once the enemy attacked in this way, the thoughts were left in my head and it ruined my self-image, my day, and my attitude. Someone who knew she was loved by her creator started to doubt and question. The more I listened to the lies, the more I started to consider them.
I knew God’s truth and I knew I had to go to war. I couldn’t handle it any longer.
For someone who is not a negative person I sure was down and in the dumps. I cannot express to you how much of a constant struggle it was to shake these lies. There was a war inside my head. A war against myself. A war that I was losing and letting the enemy win.
Here’s the thing, I couldn’t fight this battle alone! I needed Jesus to help me and fight this war for me. So as I put on my full armor of God (Ephesians 6:13-17) I sat back, prayed, and sought out His word from the bible and godly people.
It was as if I would be totally fine one minute and then BOOM the enemy would strike, and my head would be filled with things like you will never be good enough, you are not smart enough, you are not pretty enough, you are ordinary and less than extraordinary, this blog will fail, your degree is pointless, why do you try so hard when no one likes you, you are not strong enough, you acted this way in the past so therefore you are a bad person and blah blah blah the list felt like it never ended.
Ultimately, I felt like I would fail at this life God had for me so why try? I was sick, so sick of the lies. I had cried, shouted, and hit my pillow but the enemy would not back down. At times I felt like it was over and I had lost, but Jesus kept fighting my battle.
I am telling you the enemy is strong BUT our God is STRONGER! I mean hello, He did defeat sin by dying for you and me then rising again just three days later. The Man is anything but ordinary!
The enemy loves to bring up my past which then causes me to dwell on the poor decisions I’ve made in my life. I cannot see through the windshield if I am so focused on the rearview mirror. In other words, the past is a part of you, but it does not define you. If anything, it showcases just how big our God is that He and only He has the ability to transform a life.
Sometimes I tend to be so consumed with my past that my view through the windshield can get clouded. This too is a lie from the enemy for God’s word tell us, “He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.” (Psalm 18:19)
I kept thinking to myself does the devil not understand that no matter what happens I will praise my God? For the Bible says, “Guard my life and rescue me; do not let me be put to shame, for I take refuge in you.” (Psalm 25:20)
I felt so far that I was alone, unworthy, and questioned everything. That was just another lie fed to me by the enemy because according to God’s word that is not true. 1 John 1:9 says “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” Psalm 51:10-12 says, “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your holy spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.” In fact God calls me worthy and reminds me I am his.
When the war gets extraneous and we are in over our heads He wants us to bring our burdens to Him, lay it down at His feet, and admit full surrender. We must realize that without Him our faith is hopeless. For Ephesians 2:8 (ESV) says, “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.”
To be able to win this war I had to:
- Know God’s word (read the bible)
- Constantly remind myself I am of great worth and fully pleasing to Christ
- Put on my armor of God (belt of truth, breastplate of righteous, and as shoes put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace, shield of faith, helmet of salvation, sword of the spirit
- Submit to God
- Constantly pray and talk to my heavenly father
I was determined to send the enemy back to where he is from. There is only room for one king in our life and that is Jesus. Do not listen to what Satan will try and tell you. IT IS LIES. All good things come from above so where does worry and self-doubt come from? Yeah, you get the point.
Despite the tears, doubts, and questioning, God was strengthening my faith through every step. There is power in the name of Jesus and there is power when His warriors come together to pray for one another.
The support of fellow brothers and sisters in Christ is so uplifting. Now I know what they meant through all those years of grade school when they would say, “Be careful who you surround yourself with.”
We need good godly people in our lives, people to mentor, and friends who can pray with and for us. The only way to shake the bitterness and hatred of this world is for us to come together in unity and pray.
I still am uncertain with what will happen in my future, but I have decided never giving up on God is the best way to be. He never lost hope in me after all this time. He was patient with me when I ran the opposite direction so how could I not sit back and be content with where He has me? I will choose to cling to His promises.
Let the worry go because the truth is, there is much more going on behind the scenes that we are unaware of. At what we think is our lowest point may actually be quite the opposite. When we feel His goodness is nonexistent, chances are He is in the middle of watching His story unfold.
We have to be patient and continue to seek God’s will. So hang up the worry and let God write your story. For we are His and He is ours. Do not lose hope within the battle because He is holding you up through your very own war, through the pain, through the hurt, and through it all. It is in His arms where you should feel the safest.