First Love

Jesus’ grace pours over me once again

Girls constantly come up to me or bring up in conversation my relationship with my boyfriend Jonathan. My response is always “Ladies before I could have this godly relationship I had to fall in love with Jesus and find my self-worth in what Jesus tells me.” And that is the truth! Jesus was my first love and always will be.

Through all the hurt that came from past relationships, all I had to do was look to Jesus and let him fill those holes. What this world has to offer you will bring you down a dark and scary path. It will be disguised as gilts and glam, but in reality will lead you to pain and suffering.

Pain that only Jesus has the power to heal and restore your broken heart from. Sometimes it may feel like there is no way out. This world will tell you to stay bitter, put pressure to make yourself look presentable even when you can’t bear to smile, take revenge, and hang onto all the shame and guilt that comes from the past.

But I am writing this to share with you there is hope and a way out! I’m here to tell you it doesn’t have to be like that. Weather it is a past boyfriend, girlfriend, or friendship, let the bitterness stop and ask God to help you to view that person the way He sees them.

 It is hard. It really is and it will take time. It was a process for me just like everything has been in my spiritual walk. But when those chains are broken, oh my goodness, I cannot describe the feeling. The feeling of being set free is like no other.

As I was growing in my faith and discovering the never-ending love from my savior, He was also pruning me. Freeing me of all my pain and secrets, and low and behold I was no longer fixated on pleasing others or trying to make others think I was perfect all the time. I was now fixated on pursuing Jesus and falling in love with Him.

Yes, I made mistakes and will probably make some in the future, but Jesus freed me and rewarded me with the best thing I could ask for, Jonathan. It may sound mushy to some, but when I look at Jonathan I feel the love of my savior. When he holds my hand or hugs me I feel the comfort from my savior.

 God gave me this godly man to have and walk through the journey with me until I am home and in His very own arms.

How do you deal with the pain? How do you move on and how do you shake all these bad habits? The answer is simple, but the process is hard. Jesus changes lives and He definitely transformed mine.

I am walking, breathing proof that grace wins every time. He is still working on me. I definitely do not know everything, but I have learned our father loves us so deep and so wide we cannot even comprehend how far His love goes.

I had been praying for a good Christian man for a while. Never thought it would have been Jonathan, but I am so blessed it was. Jonathan came into my life at the most perfect time.

It was as if it was all part of God’s plan and timing. I love how we think we know what is best for us and what we need and then BOOM God comes out of nowhere and gives us something indescribably good and better than we ever could have imagined.

Well, that is Jonathan. The Lord gave me him to strengthen my faith, to inspire me, and to never stop seeking. The Lord has used him in ways to convict my heart of things and most importantly the Lord showed me love like this exists here on this earth.

The reason things are so good in our relationship is because we both put Christ first. I was telling one of my girlfriends the other day that our relationship is not just me or him it involves three people. It is centered on God. Does that mean we don’t struggle? Of course not, but it does mean it makes it that much easier when things don’t go our way because we look to Him for the answers.

 I never in a million years thought this would be my life at the young age of 19 years old, but when God transforms us, it is life changing and there is nothing that would make me go back to my old ways. 



P.S. Be Sill and patient for your soul mate. God had you in mind when He created your future spouse. Follow Jesus and understand what love truly is and then the rest will follow.



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Leave a Comment

  • Vickie Rhoney
    October 13, 2016

    Oh Lily, this makes my heart so happy!! God sent my husband, Michael, to me when I was in college and when I truly focused on Christ and my relationship with HIM. I came to the decision that I didn’t need a boyfriend, I only needed HIM. When I was happy there, He sent me Michael and the rest is history. I have felt so blessed my entire marriage and were given beautiful children! Thank you for sharing this for other young women! Love you!

  • Amber
    October 13, 2016

    I am so proud of you Lily!

    Love you-Amber T

  • Jamie Smith
    October 13, 2016

    You make my heart smile. I am so proud of you and couldn’t be happier that you both found each other.

  • CAroline auman
    October 15, 2016

    You got your wise on girl . God first then His Plans fall in your lap. It’s such beauty. Thank you for sharing your journey and reminding us what’s real and right . ❤️️❤️️

  • Gay Coble
    January 9, 2017

    Proud of you Lily. You always made me laugh and I knew God had plans for you. You just had to figure that out and you have in God’s timing. That means alot u have a Godly boyfriend. Love u girl.